Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hey! Butter butter butter, Swing! Butter!!!

6 flowers, a grape vine, several beets and a few turnips later, here I am.

Ugh. It's been a week.

First, I thinned out my beets and turnips, then replanted a few in other areas. Then, we had a massive storm. Tornado warnings, 40+ mile an hour winds, hail and lots of rain. As it swept in, in the wee hours o'the morn (2am-ish), I thought to myself, "self, those little guys I planted, should do pretty well". I said with a self satisfied grin of complete stupidity.

"Why the stupid grin?", you ask." Suburban Guy, you like are so adept at gardening, you have like green stuff growing on you".

Well, I do have green stuff growing on me, but it's not because if gardening...take that anyway you want. But I digress, ANYWAY...

So I sauntered out to the garden, all full of myself, "I am indeed the master of my domain!", I mused. "perhaps, I will grow prize winning orchids next then, if I feel like it, I will become a brain surgeon!" So, as I smuggely cast an eye upon my newly transplanted seedlings, much to my shock and surprise, they were all dead! Croaked, pushing up the daisies, taking the old dirt nap!!!


Arrrrgggghhhhh!!!! I screamed at the sky, "Mother Nature, you are indeed a cruel mistress!!!!"

Sigh, the little guys, just couldn't take the storm. And oddly, their untimely death affected me more than I realized. It put me in a real funk for the rest of the day. Yeah, I eat them when they are all grown up and yummy, but they are my little pals when they are growing.

Wow, that's some really sick psychological stuff there. I need to see a shrink.

It reminded me of The Simpson's episode where Homer laments over the death of his pet lobster, Pinchie, but then eats it as self punishment. Enjoying eat butter soaked bite, then crying over the lost of his pet, between bites.

So, the little guys are gone. Oh well, I just replaced them will seeds. Meh. >Shrug<.

Okay, what does any of this have to do with the title of this blog, nothing. Just a really long side note that I needed to expunge from my soul.

Okay, butter. I eat it, you eat it, but do you make it? No, this won't be a little house on the prairie episode where...MA is losing her mind stirring away at the butter churn.

Laura: Ma, whatcha doin'?

Ma: losing my mind one churn at a time.

Laura:, can I go out and play?

Ma: kill me now.

That must have ended up on the editing rooms floor.

So, if you don't want to lose your mind and want to have fresh homemade butter; all you need is a ball jar w/ lid, a marble and some heavy cream.

marble in glass 1

Mr. Hand shows off the implements of death.

Fill it about 3/4 full with the heavy cream

cream in glass

Either put the marble in before or after, it doesn't make a difference. Just make sure everything is really clean.

Screw the lid on really tight. Put a movie in the DVD player, sit down and start shaking.
You don't need to go crazy, just a gentle figure 8 shake.

Then quite suddenly, about 20 minutes later (depends on the size of the jar and how much cream you have) you have butter.


(I know, it's a weird shape. Kind of like Elephant Man butter.)

The butter will separate from the butter milk. Pure off the butter milk into another container, then gently rinse the butter with cold water to get any remaining butter milk. It's really soft at this point and should be refrigerated right away.

The next day it will be ready for use.

The butter milk, which so many "authorities" tell us is EVIL, is actually quite yummy and if you use raw milk, like I do, it's actually really good for you. Yummmm. I mix mine with a little maple syrup. Very high in Beta-carotene. Not sure about the pasteurized stuff. So if you don't want to drink it, you can use it in making butter milk pancakes. :)

The Great Mozzarella Experiment went...okay. I'm going to try it again, hopefully with better success. I will give the do's, don't's and what to look out for, when I try again.

In the mean time, here are some quick photos.

Update on the Beets that are still alive...


Pulled the first onion...

onion 2

And finally, our blackberry bushes are in bloom...

Black berry blossoms

As of this writing, there are a few little "teeny" berries appearing. I just have to keep away the %$#%#%$ squirrels.

And hopefully by next writing, I will be blogging about my new water totes. They will be replacing the blue demons.

What are totes? Stay tuned to this incredibly exciting blog and fined out. Hey! wake up!

Until next time,

Green is Good!

1 comment:

sue said...

boo hoo about the seedlings. sorry about the storm. so sad! the butter, however, is amazing, wow, i'm impressed. using a marble? and i was shocked to see the onion. it looks like a giant scallion. is that how yellow onions are formed underground? like, the yellow onion emerges from the giant scallion bulb? i'm am so not a farmer, can't you tell. great post. and so funny, as usual.